legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
