ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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