My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
