I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
