you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
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Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
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the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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