Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
