I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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