He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please, let me fuck your mom
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
