It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
