It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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