New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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