Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
