I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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