Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize