Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
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fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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