I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
