google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
