i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
