did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
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God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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