I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
