Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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