I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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