my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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