Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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