did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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