Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
