yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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