We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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