I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
