i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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