Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
