He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
