totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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