can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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