when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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