Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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