Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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