My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
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You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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