I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I think i got beer on your cat.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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