I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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