so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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