does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
