I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize