Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
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Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
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Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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