do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This baby is an asshole
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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