haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Who died my cat blue again?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
