WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
