JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
