apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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