he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
