just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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