There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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