butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
