You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
