Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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