I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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