Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
