I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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