Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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