Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
