How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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