have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
