mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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