Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
