fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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